Thoughts to ponder!

In search of he true meaning of my own life!

It was late 12 midnight and I was still watching the National Geographic – edge of the universe. Turmoil and fear has built as wonders of the universe unveil. Realizing how perfect things have been created and being created gives me a blood-rush and sense of what purpose awaits human – as I, myself. God existence is uniquely undeniable. Thus, every matter has purpose and a role that need to be executed. Life is a painful yet joyful voyage and as I am now into my adult stage, I do acknowledge its complication. We love and hate. We became brave enough but fear adequately for the loss. Soon, this temporary world will be just another cosmic substance and become empty and there’s always a rise and fall as it begins to end.
As I reflect it to my self, I knew things will be changed. As I was a child becoming a father, satisfying the needs I have ponder for so long. Of course I am giving all the credit to my lovely wife, for giving me such love and passion. But still what role should I play for me to fulfill my existence. And I am looking for the answer to the incident I found her. Is giving my love and dedication would be enough?
Looking back where I began cling to me that I could find the answer. Being an oppressed kid gives me a good judgment of how I want my life to be. Yes, I have just a simple dream – to love my kids and adore the only woman of my life. Every road bumps I have face it believing there’s nothing impossible to the resolute and determined man. Though I was mishandled by my parents, with the help of my sisters, friends and my step mom I have defy the hardship to move forward. I maybe in the top of my game right now, yet I mug about the battle to surpass the trials. For all I knew is that it will not let go as long as I breath. Still, at the end of the day, I’m hanging with the thoughts of what God has called me upon. Is Angela (my daughter) and Jam (my wife) is the answer? Yes I say… Now I feel better about myself, fulfilled, gratifying. I couldn’t even describe the feeling that I have made my childhood dream. Not even winning in a lottery could portray it.
Then what’s next? I ponder again. I know the answer will come from Him. Right now, I don’t want to think about the world coming to its end. I don’t do my research about the global climate change. I stop planning of my future career for a while. Like I don’t hear anything nor sees the beauty of everything – except for the one thing – my daughter Angela. It gives me the mixed emotions of the whole thing. Soon she will be in her mother’s arm as well as into mine (though I am 5 months time away) it is the greatest thing happened to me next to I have found my wife. Now as of this moment I couldn’t help myself but to say it – for me having them is best gift I have received from God. Before long, my desire to serve Him intense more day by day. May we all find our joy, pride and true fulfillment.